Thursday, April 23, 2015

Life is full of

Life is full of different little things. Whether it is happy moments, challenging times, sad seasons. We have different emotions through out the day. Some are over the top with happiness and some are consuming with grief. This week my feelings have been feelings I have not ever had. Grief of things that may not be. Determination to help my son. Helplessness, anger, ticked off at the world and just feelings inside me I can not describe. My son has autism. In my heart I have known for a year. Hearing the words from the specialist was hard. He is high functioning but he has autism. I am worried about bullies in his future. I am mad because all the programs are a year wait list. I am scared I can not be the mom he needs. I am exhausted because I am so sad. Sad because he is not like other kids. Sad because he won't fit in. The one thing I know is Zeke is an incredible little boy. He is so happy. He is a smart little boy. He loves to learn new things. He is funny. Yes we struggle with communication daily. We are so thankful for his preschool. The has come a long way since November. He does talk but just one or two words. When he says "love you", melts our hearts. I have very few close friends I know that will not treat us any different. I am so grateful for the people in our lives that will be there no matter what. Life is full of Zeke right now. He is our world. God created him perfectly and He has a purpose for his life. I am trusting God to show us how to be the best parents and learn how to help Zeke. I know it will not be easy but I know God will be there for us.