The Hard days

Some days are just hard. Autism is our world. 98% of the time Zeke is well behaved. On the 2% days, wow it can knock you on your bum. People think we are bad parents but they do not understand the challenges. How would you feel when you can not say the words to express how you feel. You are mad and sad. They come out somehow when you feel these feelings. He blew his top. It happened at school. I just arrived when I looked on the playground and see him screaming and crying. I went out. He was mad I was there. e was just mad. It took me 20 minutes to calm him down. It throws everything off for the rest of the ravening. So no Awanas for us. Come to find out later, he was getting sick also. Some days I would why God wants me to be his mommy. Then I realize I will love him unconditionally. I will fight for him. I will make sure he has the best opportunity to be a better person. I thank God for giving me Zeke. It has shown me I am stronger than I ever thought I was. Now the food allergy battle, that is a post for another day.

Life fies by.

It has been a long time since I have blogged. Life is busy. Sleep overrides any extra time I have. Little man is now 5. He is blossoming at his preschool. He loves to sing and playing with cars, legos and trains. I am amazed how much he is changing with his speech. He wants to play more and more with others. My dad is aging. He will be 86 soon. He is in an a nice assisted living in Missouri and seems to like it. Last September we lost Uncle Bud at age 91. It was one of my most favorite people in the world. I want to start blogging again about our meals. I am going gluten free for a while to see if it helps me feel better. I have a Instant Pot and wow, I am amazed how great our chicken turned out tonight! More on that recipe later! Goodbye 2016. You have been a hard year for me. I am praying 2017 will be a better year!

Life is full of

Life is full of different little things. Whether it is happy moments, challenging times, sad seasons. We have different emotions through out the day. Some are over the top with happiness and some are consuming with grief. This week my feelings have been feelings I have not ever had. Grief of things that may not be. Determination to help my son. Helplessness, anger, ticked off at the world and just feelings inside me I can not describe. My son has autism. In my heart I have known for a year. Hearing the words from the specialist was hard. He is high functioning but he has autism. I am worried about bullies in his future. I am mad because all the programs are a year wait list. I am scared I can not be the mom he needs. I am exhausted because I am so sad. Sad because he is not like other kids. Sad because he won't fit in. The one thing I know is Zeke is an incredible little boy. He is so happy. He is a smart little boy. He loves to learn new things. He is funny. Yes we struggle with communication daily. We are so thankful for his preschool. The has come a long way since November. He does talk but just one or two words. When he says "love you", melts our hearts. I have very few close friends I know that will not treat us any different. I am so grateful for the people in our lives that will be there no matter what. Life is full of Zeke right now. He is our world. God created him perfectly and He has a purpose for his life. I am trusting God to show us how to be the best parents and learn how to help Zeke. I know it will not be easy but I know God will be there for us.

Spring

Spring is here. I love taking walking with Zeke in his stroller usually sleeping. Every day on our walks I thank God for the blessing of this little dude. He makes our family complete. He is 5 1/2 months old. I always thought I would have time to blog about him on a weekly base. Wow was I ever wrong. Being a mom is a full time job and then some.I would not trade it for anything in this world and he is worth everything.

Zeke is rolling, doing a worm crawl when he see something he wants, and he is very vocal. He chatters all the time. He loves to laugh and look around. He is drools all the time and everything goes into the mouth. I am amazed daily by everything this little man does.

We have battled with eczema. We went to Children's Mercy this week and I believe we are on the right track to clear him up some. It may be something he will battle with the rest of his life. We are praying it isn't.

Being a mom has changed how I look at everyday things. When I drive I think I am more cautious now. I constantly think about Zeke. I do not sleep well because I check on him all night. I love watching him sleep.Rob and I do not know what we did for entertainment before Zeke. He makes us laugh and we want to spend all our time playing with him. Zeke lights up when he sees his daddy come home after work. He watches everything he does. I am so blessed to have a wonderful Godly husband who wants to take care of his son and spend time with him.

I will try to do better about posting. Here is Zeke's Easter picture. He has grown even since this picture.

Zekes first week

Really, I am back!

Wow, it has been forever since I have blogged. I thought I would blog weekly on the updates of my pregnancy and once Zeke arrived post pics weekly. My pregnancy was not the easiest with the gestational diabetes and morning sickness the entire eight and half months. I didn't realize how sleep deprived we would be once he arrived. So I will play a little catch up then try to post more.



Ezekiel Allen Young arrived 11/1111 @ 7:11am. He weighed 7 lbs 14 oz and was 20 inches. He stole our hearts the first moment we saw him. I had the best experience at Wesley Hospital. My dear sweet friend, Kathryn Curtis, was my nurse. She made the whole experience extra special. Kat was one of the very few who knew his name before birth!

We walked into the room to prepare at 5am. Kathryn croqueted him a blanket and had it on the bed.



The entire pregnancy we called him Little Dude.



Kat opened the bible to Ezekiel 11 and wrote on the white board.

The only strange thing when one of your closest friends is your nurse is she has to catheterize you and she knows your weight!!!

Oh I forgot to mentioned I had Bell's palsy also. It hit me the Saturday before Zeke's arrival and did not leave me until mid December. I still have some issues with it.

So here is a pic of Kat and I pre c section and my horrible smile.


Our anesthesiologist rocked. He made me feel so comfortable and explained everything going on during the c section. Once Zeke cried, I was relieved. But before he did I hear this gasp from the nurses. Then saying "Look at all that hair". Dr Kaufman put Zeke over the curtain for me to see my precious boy. I fell in love at first sight. He is beautiful!

Rob was amazing the whole time we were in the hospital. He took care of Zeke's diapers and took care of me. We had tons of visitors. I would post all the pics of the peole who came to meet Zeke but it would take me all day.




Well this at least catches up on the arrival of Zeke. I will post his weekly pics on the next entry.

Here is a couple of more pics of our Little Dude.

Thankful forThanksgiving

The last year and half I have watched my friends become pregnant. I have made burps cloths and baby blankets. When making the blankets I would shed a few tears, wishing Rob and I would be blessed with a child. I have prayed for these babies to arrive. Their parents had issues getting pregnant like we have had. I watched these little miracles grow in their mommies and now growing up to have the cutest persoalities. I love them all. Still my heart longed for a baby of our own.

Every night, Rob and I would pray for a child. I would read about Hannah and feel her pain month after month. Wondering if we would every have a child. I wanted to experience being a mommy.At one point last fall I remember being bitter with God. Mad because I wasnt pregnant. One DAI read Cololossians 3:2 set your heart on things above, not on earthy things. Granted I still wanted a baby more than anything, I decided it was time to set my eyes on God more.

October came and I had surgery that my help me become pregnant. January and February came still not pregnant. MArch came in and I told Rob it wouldnt be this month either.I knew in my heart not to think it would happen.

Funny how God has a way to show us He is in control. I just knew we were going to have another disappointing month. I remember praying to God, and reading Psalms 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. I finally prayed it was His will because I couldn't handle the disappointment anymore.

God saw the desires of our hearts. We are expecting a baby in November. What another blessing to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. Everytime morning sickness hits me, I praise God! Everytime I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, I praise God. All the things I have heard women complain about, I praise GOD! He has given us this baby! When we heard the heartbeat for the first time, it was like angel's singing to me. I am so grantful for this pregnancy!

April is here and almost gone.

The last few months I have been learning to be still more. Rob and I pretty much cleared our schedules in January and February to focus on home life more. It was amazing what all we accomplished and just how relaxed we were during those months. Then March blew in and the next then I knew it was April now May is around the corner.

The last two weeks we have had the honor of having the Hurd family stay with us. Jerry and Rob are close freinds. Jerry was Rob's best man in our wedding. The January after we were married, God lead them to Kenya to be missionaries. We did get to see them when we were in Kenya in 2009. They are back raising support on furlough. I have enjoyed all the giggles I hear through out the house, having conversation with their 12 year daughter, Olivia and enjoying their friendship. I pray when Rob and I have a child they are as wonderful as the Hurd children are.

With working full time and so many things going on in March (more on that in the next post), I did not get my pantry organized before the Hurd's arrival. It was out of control. This evening I opened the pantry and it was so organized. What a blessing it is to have an organized pantry. I am used to doing things for others and sometimesdoing too much and not letting others help me. This gesture is huge in my book. Breanna should not have tackled that awful unorganized clutter. I am so grateful though. Most people who know me well know I do not let others do anything in my kitchen period. I am so humbled someone would clean my pantry for me.


We are visiting the family this weekend. I am so excited I can hardly stand it. Big weekend! Ready to celebrate Easter. Jesus is RISEN! He died for you and I, what will you do for him?

Happy Easter!

It has been a while since I have posted. Spare time is something I have so little of now I am working full time. I love working so close to home but I am not always liking working until after 5:00.

The basement is almost completely finished. We have a few furniture pieces to buy( 2 chairs for upstairs to replace the ones we are moving downstairs) and we are waiting one more couch to be delivered. We still have to order blinds, the projector for the theater area and the screen. I believe we have the projector picked out but still waiting on confirmation from the boss on this!!

We are still praying for a baby. We know everything in our lives is in God's timing and in His hands. We trust we will have a baby one day!

Sewing is becoming more and more of a passion of mine. I enjoy making items for others. I wish I could take classes but again that would take more time. I understand now how Rob felt when he was doing the basement project.


Oh Rob turns 36 this week!

A month of Thankfulness

At the end of the month, we will celebrate Thanksgiving. I always think of November as the Thankful month.

I am thankful for so many things but most of the "things" we can not see.


I am thankful for God's grace, love and forgiveness. I am thankful I can wake up each knowing as a child of God I am saved.

I am thankful for the love of my hubby. Yes, I do see it. He does so much for me and does it with a cheerful heart. I am so gratefully and blessed for Rob's love!

I am thankful for the guidance of my dad, Aunt Moz and Uncle Bud all my life and even now daily.

I am thankful for my family, both families. I am thankful for my loving nieces who make my heart smile daily.

I am thankful for wonderful friends.

I am thankful for a church family. I am thankful for a Pastor who stays true to God's word.

I am thankful for the beautiful sunrises and sunsets in Kansas. We may have extreme weather but can hardly beat our sunsets.

I could go on all night. Take time to say what you are thankful for. Make sure you tell the people in your life you are thankful for them.

November is here!

October went by way too fast! I (Heather) had a minor surgery but it has made me very very tired the last week. Rob has been working on the basement and it sure is close to being completed. I am ready to do the before and after pictures! It has been hard work but rewarding knowing Rob completed most of it. I did paint! I have also help sand and stain some of the trim work!



Last night Rob flew us to KC to eat at the Blue Nile Ethiopian restaurant.

The sunset behind us was another remind God is the perfect artist!

Supposely, the 737 was a charter for Pink Floyd. I was impressed we parked by a 737!
We always have to take a picture of us flying even though we have a few!!!






After dinner!




Yummy!

Enjoying traditional Ethi coffee. It is the best coffee!
Rob also enjoying it in the little bitty cup!

Fall is in the air

It is almost fall and the leaves will be changing colors soon in Southeast Missouri. The cotton is starting to bloom. The marching band is practicing every morning before school to be prepared for the Friday night football games. This time off the year makes me homesick for Missouri.

The cool crisp nights are on its way. The cotton carnival is around the corner. The smell of the carnival foods and the American Legion fish and burger stand are a wonderful memory of growing up in Sikeston. It is a small town but it is home.

In Kansas I will one day have the traditions of the season but until then I will be homesick for Missouri in the fall!

Blessings from God

Two years ago today, I married my best friend, my lover and the person who makes me a better person. God blessed me with such a wonderful, God fearing, loving husband! I can not imagine my life without Rob!

I have been thinking about the last two years together. We have been through more than probably most couples. We have experienced deaths in our family, miscarriage, traveling all over, construction project, and just every day life. Every day I love him more! We love just being together even if it is just watching Planet Earth at home. We have traveled to Cabo San Lucas, Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Kenya, Illinois, Delaware, Pennsylvania, Chicago, Maryland, Oregon, California, NYC since we have been married. We have fun traveling but also have fun in Wichita.

We are blessed with each other and with great friends and family!


Rob, I am looking forward too many many more years together! Thank you for being an amazing husband who keeps God first!

basement project update!

I am excited we have a free weekend to paint the basement! We only have the theater room and the living room area! I can not wait to do before and after pictures once the carpet it done. So far we have taken pictures at each stage!

Goal to be done (except furniture) is end of September! Hopefully we will meet the goal!

A few pic from NYC

Rob and I promised our niece,Jamie, we would take her to NYC! We had a wonderful time and here are a few pics from the trip!



Jamie, her friend Chloe with Meghann Fahy, Natalie in Next to Normal!

Rob, Jamie and I acting crazy at M&M World, Times Square!

Jamie and I riding the Ferris wheel at Toys r Us in Times Square! We were in the My Little Pony cart!
The Cross from the rubble at Ground Zero! God is with us Always!
Jamie and I at Ellis Island!
Jamie and I with Lady Liberty!
The three of us on Liberty Island



More pics later! I will also need to post Oregon pics!

We are staying at home for a while and taking a break from traveling! Our bank account will thank us!

ANTICIPATION

Rob and I are giddy like little kids! We can not wait to see what the basement is going to look like when we get home. Today the sheet rock is being hung! It is so exciting to see a project step by step be completed. In three days the basement will have permanent walls! Praise the Lord for this accomplishment!

Rob and I have an idea what colors we are going to paint the basement! That will be the fun part for me! I can picture it all in my mind so it is so exciting to actually get to start painting! Of course trying to find the time to paint is going to be challenging now! July is so busy! We will have to paint during the week since almost every weekend has something booked!

We have all kinds of anticipation going on! We leave for Oregon in 5 days! I have my lists made out and somethings packed! I am so ready for a week without work and time alone with my hubby! It will be such a beautiful trip! I love waterfalls and just nature all round!

Our weekend

Well our weekend was pretty low key. Saturday morning we went to the farmer's market. We bought squash, tomatoes, beets, potatoes, and cucumbers! I am excited to eat all of the fresh veggies this week.

Then we went to The Donut Whole for donuts.

Rob stuffing his face with a cheesecake donut! Picture is sorta bad since it was from my phone!


Maple Bacon donuts and toasted coconut donuts! The coconut was my favorite!
We had a relaxing time down by the river also!

God sure does paint a pretty picture!

What I didn't take a picture of is what I am dreaming of! A new embroidery/sewing machine! Oh it is glorious! I am so wanting it. It has a larger space for embroidering. It has hundreds of stitched for sewing. You can do some many things with it! So know my mad money is being saved for the glorious machine!

Project updates

I am waiting to do before and after pictures of the basement when it is completed.

Rob and his dad are putting the insulation up and hopefully will finish tomorrow! I am excited the sheet rocking will be done before July! We will have walls that I can paint! Now I am not putting pressure on ourselves to get the furniture any time soon. Hopefully by the fall we will have carpet, the bar, and furniture all down there so we can have a movie party! I can not wait for the home theater. To recline back and watch a movie downstairs is going to be great. I know Rob will be one happy man!

I am not pushing to do the patio until the fall now. We do not have one weekend free until middle of August so I need to try to pace the projects! The fire pit will be nice on cool fall evenings!

My 9:00 am daily email

Every morning around 9:00 I receive an email from Proverbs 31 Ministries. It is a daily devotional. I read them faithful and think about the scripture throughout the day.

On more than a few hundred occasions, it is like the email is written to me for something I am going through in my life. It may be dealing with a coworker, or a friendship, death in the family ect. It always speaks to me.

Isn't God amazing! Even in today's world, God speaks through an email! Telling me what I need to hear. Sometimes it knocks me down a little off my high horse. He speaks not only through His word, but through songs, emails, friends or even a stranger. I am constantly reminded to listen and be still! God will speak to you if you are willing to listen and accept what He has to say!

Relating to Hannah

When I read 1 Samuel 1, I relate with Hannah how she feels year after year not having a child. Elkanah loves her and takes extra care of her. She still longs for a son for Elkanah.

It seems like everyone around me is either pregnant or having a child. There are days it is frustrating and it hurts. Month after month I pray I become pregnant again. The miscarriage has been too much to handle and I just want one baby.

When I feel overwhelmed with the longing for a child, I read 1 Samuel . Hannah poured her heart and soul, weeping and praying to the Lord. Trust me I pray and cry also. Then God granted her pray, Samuel! She gave him back to Him also.

I know God answers pray. If it is God's will, Rob and I will have a child one day. But like Hannah, my hubby loves me and takes care of me! I am truly blessed!