The Hard days

Some days are just hard. Autism is our world. 98% of the time Zeke is well behaved. On the 2% days, wow it can knock you on your bum. People think we are bad parents but they do not understand the challenges. How would you feel when you can not say the words to express how you feel. You are mad and sad. They come out somehow when you feel these feelings. He blew his top. It happened at school. I just arrived when I looked on the playground and see him screaming and crying. I went out. He was mad I was there. e was just mad. It took me 20 minutes to calm him down. It throws everything off for the rest of the ravening. So no Awanas for us. Come to find out later, he was getting sick also. Some days I would why God wants me to be his mommy. Then I realize I will love him unconditionally. I will fight for him. I will make sure he has the best opportunity to be a better person. I thank God for giving me Zeke. It has shown me I am stronger than I ever thought I was. Now the food allergy battle, that is a post for another day.

Life fies by.

It has been a long time since I have blogged. Life is busy. Sleep overrides any extra time I have. Little man is now 5. He is blossoming at his preschool. He loves to sing and playing with cars, legos and trains. I am amazed how much he is changing with his speech. He wants to play more and more with others. My dad is aging. He will be 86 soon. He is in an a nice assisted living in Missouri and seems to like it. Last September we lost Uncle Bud at age 91. It was one of my most favorite people in the world. I want to start blogging again about our meals. I am going gluten free for a while to see if it helps me feel better. I have a Instant Pot and wow, I am amazed how great our chicken turned out tonight! More on that recipe later! Goodbye 2016. You have been a hard year for me. I am praying 2017 will be a better year!

Life is full of

Life is full of different little things. Whether it is happy moments, challenging times, sad seasons. We have different emotions through out the day. Some are over the top with happiness and some are consuming with grief. This week my feelings have been feelings I have not ever had. Grief of things that may not be. Determination to help my son. Helplessness, anger, ticked off at the world and just feelings inside me I can not describe. My son has autism. In my heart I have known for a year. Hearing the words from the specialist was hard. He is high functioning but he has autism. I am worried about bullies in his future. I am mad because all the programs are a year wait list. I am scared I can not be the mom he needs. I am exhausted because I am so sad. Sad because he is not like other kids. Sad because he won't fit in. The one thing I know is Zeke is an incredible little boy. He is so happy. He is a smart little boy. He loves to learn new things. He is funny. Yes we struggle with communication daily. We are so thankful for his preschool. The has come a long way since November. He does talk but just one or two words. When he says "love you", melts our hearts. I have very few close friends I know that will not treat us any different. I am so grateful for the people in our lives that will be there no matter what. Life is full of Zeke right now. He is our world. God created him perfectly and He has a purpose for his life. I am trusting God to show us how to be the best parents and learn how to help Zeke. I know it will not be easy but I know God will be there for us.

Spring

Spring is here. I love taking walking with Zeke in his stroller usually sleeping. Every day on our walks I thank God for the blessing of this little dude. He makes our family complete. He is 5 1/2 months old. I always thought I would have time to blog about him on a weekly base. Wow was I ever wrong. Being a mom is a full time job and then some.I would not trade it for anything in this world and he is worth everything.

Zeke is rolling, doing a worm crawl when he see something he wants, and he is very vocal. He chatters all the time. He loves to laugh and look around. He is drools all the time and everything goes into the mouth. I am amazed daily by everything this little man does.

We have battled with eczema. We went to Children's Mercy this week and I believe we are on the right track to clear him up some. It may be something he will battle with the rest of his life. We are praying it isn't.

Being a mom has changed how I look at everyday things. When I drive I think I am more cautious now. I constantly think about Zeke. I do not sleep well because I check on him all night. I love watching him sleep.Rob and I do not know what we did for entertainment before Zeke. He makes us laugh and we want to spend all our time playing with him. Zeke lights up when he sees his daddy come home after work. He watches everything he does. I am so blessed to have a wonderful Godly husband who wants to take care of his son and spend time with him.

I will try to do better about posting. Here is Zeke's Easter picture. He has grown even since this picture.

Zekes first week

Really, I am back!

Wow, it has been forever since I have blogged. I thought I would blog weekly on the updates of my pregnancy and once Zeke arrived post pics weekly. My pregnancy was not the easiest with the gestational diabetes and morning sickness the entire eight and half months. I didn't realize how sleep deprived we would be once he arrived. So I will play a little catch up then try to post more.



Ezekiel Allen Young arrived 11/1111 @ 7:11am. He weighed 7 lbs 14 oz and was 20 inches. He stole our hearts the first moment we saw him. I had the best experience at Wesley Hospital. My dear sweet friend, Kathryn Curtis, was my nurse. She made the whole experience extra special. Kat was one of the very few who knew his name before birth!

We walked into the room to prepare at 5am. Kathryn croqueted him a blanket and had it on the bed.



The entire pregnancy we called him Little Dude.



Kat opened the bible to Ezekiel 11 and wrote on the white board.

The only strange thing when one of your closest friends is your nurse is she has to catheterize you and she knows your weight!!!

Oh I forgot to mentioned I had Bell's palsy also. It hit me the Saturday before Zeke's arrival and did not leave me until mid December. I still have some issues with it.

So here is a pic of Kat and I pre c section and my horrible smile.


Our anesthesiologist rocked. He made me feel so comfortable and explained everything going on during the c section. Once Zeke cried, I was relieved. But before he did I hear this gasp from the nurses. Then saying "Look at all that hair". Dr Kaufman put Zeke over the curtain for me to see my precious boy. I fell in love at first sight. He is beautiful!

Rob was amazing the whole time we were in the hospital. He took care of Zeke's diapers and took care of me. We had tons of visitors. I would post all the pics of the peole who came to meet Zeke but it would take me all day.




Well this at least catches up on the arrival of Zeke. I will post his weekly pics on the next entry.

Here is a couple of more pics of our Little Dude.

Thankful forThanksgiving

The last year and half I have watched my friends become pregnant. I have made burps cloths and baby blankets. When making the blankets I would shed a few tears, wishing Rob and I would be blessed with a child. I have prayed for these babies to arrive. Their parents had issues getting pregnant like we have had. I watched these little miracles grow in their mommies and now growing up to have the cutest persoalities. I love them all. Still my heart longed for a baby of our own.

Every night, Rob and I would pray for a child. I would read about Hannah and feel her pain month after month. Wondering if we would every have a child. I wanted to experience being a mommy.At one point last fall I remember being bitter with God. Mad because I wasnt pregnant. One DAI read Cololossians 3:2 set your heart on things above, not on earthy things. Granted I still wanted a baby more than anything, I decided it was time to set my eyes on God more.

October came and I had surgery that my help me become pregnant. January and February came still not pregnant. MArch came in and I told Rob it wouldnt be this month either.I knew in my heart not to think it would happen.

Funny how God has a way to show us He is in control. I just knew we were going to have another disappointing month. I remember praying to God, and reading Psalms 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. I finally prayed it was His will because I couldn't handle the disappointment anymore.

God saw the desires of our hearts. We are expecting a baby in November. What another blessing to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. Everytime morning sickness hits me, I praise God! Everytime I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, I praise God. All the things I have heard women complain about, I praise GOD! He has given us this baby! When we heard the heartbeat for the first time, it was like angel's singing to me. I am so grantful for this pregnancy!